can and do enjoy years of good marital sex. However, this is not always the case. In fact, in many marriages, there are seasons when true satisfaction just does not “happen.”It’s my opinion that
fulfilling intimacy can be created, ignited, provoked…………once the stage is set, once the atmosphere is created. You don’t have to be stuck in a cycle of failing to be satisfied. As long as there
is breath in your body, there is hope.
should submit even this area of our lives to our Master. We don’t have to try the shoe on to see if it fits before we commit to it or take a test drive before making our purchase…….We should look to God to bless this most
vulnerable part of our lives. My challenge for you today is that in order for your degree of sexual satisfaction to increase, you have to begin changing your level of expectation. You have to be willing to do something different by not just imagining magic but by “creating” it…….creating a hunger and desire in yourself and your partner! So here are a few simple steps to start moving in the right direction.
1. Create a SAFE environment – Never allow your partner to ever feel like they are competing with your past relationships or experiences. Your partner should never feel like they do not measure up to “something.” Safe environments in relationships always allow partners to feel protected emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Cut ties to old flings, pornography, other sexual addictions, etc. because any door that is not securely closed can easily reopen causing a whole lot of pain in your current relationship.
2. Create a LOVING environment – Intentionally allow yourself to engage in acts of loving interaction. In order to do this you have to know your partner’s love language. If your spouse responds to “quality time”, all the expensive gifts in the world will fail to fill her intimacy bucket. Your communication of your love sadly falls on deaf ears. Discover what does it for your lover. Is it acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch or gifts? If he thrives on words of affirmation, begin gaining his attention by mentioning how good he is in whatever area. Leave little notes around the house or text him filling his love tank. Be quick with using your words to build up as opposed to tearing down.
3. Create a PEACEFUL environment – Never allow your home to be anything less than a peaceful haven that your spouse wants to run home to. Peaceful environments allow each of you to thrive on the harmony that exists between you. Anyone would grow weary of tension, fussing, criticism, and fighting. Hold your tongue and treat your spouse with the compassion they deserve. Never allow your mate to feel as if they are your emotional of physical punching bag. I can’t think of anyone who would want to share their body with a tyrant. Softness bring even the toughest soldier to his knees…………..
4. Create an OPEN environment – Always allow times for honest and open communication. In order for this to truly happen, you have to be willing to accept criticism and move forward without getting bent out of shape. You also have to be willing to give criticism without tearing down the spirit of your mate. There is a way to say
things in a very positive way. It is very important to first make a compliment before launching into the negative aspects of the relationship. When the atmosphere is not open, many things remain unsaid and frustration gets buried beneath subtle acts of sarcasm. This sarcasm can eventually become anger. Open communication also allows for honest dialogue about what is and what’s not working in the bedroom.
These steps merely act as catalysts to igniting the internal fire resulting in outward passion. Your partner deserves your attention in the area of intimacy. Remember that intimacy starts long before the bedroom. Take care of yourself because your partner desires someone pleasing to the eye emotionally and physically…………..Enjoy!