Pillow Talk - Secret Number Two

Creating the Atmosphere........

Many of us take for granted that two people in love and married
can and do enjoy years of good marital sex.   However, this is not always the case. In fact, in many marriages, there are  seasons when true satisfaction just does not “happen.”It’s my opinion that
fulfilling intimacy can be created, ignited, provoked…………once the stage is set,  once the atmosphere is created. You don’t have to be stuck in a cycle of failing to be satisfied.  As long as there
is breath in your body, there is hope.

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There is always room for  your relationship to grow even in the area of sexual intimacy. As believers we
should submit even this area of our lives to our Master. We don’t have to try  the shoe on to see if it fits before we commit to it or take a test drive  before making our purchase…….We should look to God to bless this most
vulnerable part of our lives. My challenge for you today is that in order for   your degree of sexual satisfaction to increase, you have to begin changing your  level of expectation. You have to be willing to do something different by not  just imagining magic but by “creating” it…….creating a hunger and desire in   yourself and your partner! So here are a few simple steps to start moving in  the right direction.

 1. Create a SAFE  environment – Never allow your partner to ever feel like they are competing with  your past relationships or experiences. Your partner should never feel like they  do not measure up to “something.” Safe environments in relationships always  allow partners to feel protected emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Cut  ties to old flings, pornography, other sexual addictions, etc. because any door  that is not securely closed can easily reopen causing a whole lot of pain in your current relationship.  
 
2. Create a LOVING environment – Intentionally allow yourself to engage in acts of  loving interaction. In order to do this you have to know your partner’s love  language. If your spouse responds to “quality time”, all the expensive gifts in the world will fail to fill her intimacy bucket. Your communication of your love  sadly falls on deaf ears. Discover what does it for your lover. Is it acts of  service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch or gifts? If he  thrives on words of affirmation, begin gaining his attention by mentioning how  good he is in whatever area. Leave little notes around the house or text him  filling his love tank. Be quick with using your words to build up as opposed to  tearing down. 
 
3. Create a PEACEFUL environment – Never allow your home to be anything less than a  peaceful haven that your spouse wants to run home to. Peaceful environments  allow each of you to thrive on the harmony that exists between you. Anyone would grow weary of tension, fussing, criticism, and fighting. Hold your tongue and  treat your spouse with the compassion they deserve. Never allow your mate to  feel as if they are your emotional of physical punching bag. I can’t think of  anyone who would want to share their body with a tyrant. Softness bring even the toughest soldier to his knees…………..
 
4. Create an OPEN  environment – Always allow times for honest and open communication. In order for  this to truly happen, you have to be willing to accept criticism and move  forward without getting bent out of shape. You also have to be willing to give  criticism without tearing down the spirit of your mate. There is a way to say
things in a very positive way. It is very important to first make a compliment  before launching into the negative aspects of the relationship. When the  atmosphere is not open, many things remain unsaid and frustration gets buried  beneath subtle acts of sarcasm. This sarcasm can eventually become anger. Open  communication also allows for honest dialogue about what is and what’s not  working in the bedroom.
 
 These steps merely  act as catalysts to igniting the internal fire resulting in outward passion. Your partner deserves  your attention in the area of intimacy. Remember that intimacy starts long  before the bedroom. Take care of yourself because your partner desires someone  pleasing to the eye emotionally and  physically…………..Enjoy!