Just because you don't deal with a source of tension or conflict doesn't mean that it disappears! It "comes up" eventually so "Man Up" and have a discussion with your life long partner! He or she deserves your honesty. Little issues become enormous just because you don't deal with the root!
How many times have you walked away from a very heated conversation trying to figure out why and how you allowed yourself to explode in such anger and frustration? If you really think about it, the disagreement probably should not have caused that much rage, so where do you think the anger originated?
Is it possible that you had buried unmet needs, hurt feelings, unexpressed expectations in a sea of neglect. Could it be possible that you neglected your sacred role as communicator with your spouse? Could you have taken it for granted that he or she knew or could read your mind, understanding exactly what would bring you pleasure or pain? This neglect could have created a wedge or barrier between you and your spouse.