![]() Yesterday was one of the most exhausting days I have had in a while. Lately my schedule has been screaming to have more hours in a day! So after getting the kids down for the night, I literally sat on the edge of my bed staring straight ahead as if I was in a trance. I didn’t know what to do next because I had such a long list…….lol! Then, all of a sudden my husband walked around the side of the bed with a small towel in his hand and a sly look on his face. As he came a little closer I saw something I had not seen in a while……..a bottle of scented rubbing oil! My Pumpkin then placed the towel beneath my feet and sat beside me about to engage in an act that I so enjoyed when we were dating and early into our marriage. Now it’s one thing to massage the feet of the woman whose heart you are trying to win but it’s another to continue to rub her feet as the years pass by. Knowing that he himself was very tired, this simple foot massage became a labor of love, so my heart melted at his first touch. He scored enough brownie points to last the entire year! Lol…… According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s idea on love languages Norman began speaking two of mine……”quality
time” and an“act of service.” Housed in this foot rub was a quiet demonstration of his love for me. I embraced and received this subtle act of romance knowing that it took the sacrifice of time and effort. The effort was intimately rooted in his humility in that he placed my tiredness above his own. What a way to send positive energy to your mate! Who would have thought that such an act could change the atmosphere? Smile……… Oftentimes in relationships we fail to take the time to speak to one another in the appropriate love language. We end up speaking Chinese while our spouse understands French! There are times when we know our partner’s language but we just choose to speak our own language because it’s easier or because it takes too much effort to speak in our mate’s language. Sometimes the languages are the same but the dialect is different. (ie. both of your languages are quality time but one of you likes quality time at home and the other prefers it out and about in public places) Sometimes in our selfishness we just flat out refuse to change our behavior for the sake of the relationship because our own needs are what matters most. What we have to remember is that marriage is about “oneness.” How can we continue to make this oneness happen throughout the life of our relationship? Initially we have to care enough to learn and demonstrate the language of love your partner uniquely desires. Then we have to be consistent about sharing our spouse’s language on a regular basis. Thirdly we have to be willing to communicate to each other what our respective languages are and fourth we have to be willing to compromise our languages for the sake of moving towards “oneness” in our relationship. Many think you say “I do,” once in a lifetime, I think you say it throughout the life of your marriage. I think you say “I do,”every single time you choose to serve your partner in loving acts!
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March 2018
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