1. Remember what drew you to him or her in the first place! Can you remember the first time you saw each other? What were you thinking and feeling? Did you feel like you would do whatever it took to get their attention and keep it? Was it in the way that they smiled? The tone of their voice? Their charm? Their sexiness? What was it that you remember got your attention? Having the ability to remember and even meditate on that remembrance can often be the catalyst to igniting that hidden fire. Buried beneath the issues you have gotten through is still the man or woman who first caught your eye and eventually your heart!
2. Resist the urge to blame. Blaming each other easily kills a relationship. Try to stay open to seeing both of your contributions to the state of your relationship. Refuse to blame the other person for the way that you behave or act. Of course we respond to each other out of hurt or pain at times but does it benefit either of you to insist that it is always someone else’s fault? Be responsible for what you do and allow the other person to see themselves without always having a finger pointing in their face.
3. Recognize when communication needs to improve. Screaming and yelling never accomplishes anything. Neither does stonewalling. Don’t hold your partner emotionally hostage to your control. Communicate even when you feel the urge to pout and not talk. Withdrawal often keeps the other person in bondage to your control, unable to resolve an issue until you feel like talking. That’s not right. It’s unfair. Only give yourself time out to let anger subside but once it does, deal with the issue. If you are challenged in communicating, be willing to change a little in order for each of you to be heard and UNDERSTOOD! If you don’t understand, ask, ask, and ask again………….but be nice in your asking. Don’t belittle your lover.
4. Release old hurts and past mistakes. This is very hard to do when we are offended but it is the only way to move on. In any great relationship, there will be some level of offence or hurt but you have to be willing to release yourself and your partner. If not you become glued to the past, unable to see your future together. Only look back to learn and to know what not to do next time but don’t look to long! Keep walking ahead.
5. Restore passion and intimacy. There is no excuse for lack of intimacy in a loving relationship. Every girl wants to be held and feel secure while being cherished and every man wants to know that he has captured his wife’s heart and can securely hold and protect her. If the flame has dwindled, find out where the holes are and plug them up immediately before someone comes along and fulfills his or her needs. Never leave your partner hanging sexually or emotionally. Your anger is not an excuse to withhold yourself from each other. Get over yourself and be busy about demonstrating your love! Happy loving!